Oh, it's you. It's been a long time…how have you been? I've been really busy being dead, you know…after you -murdered- me.
But I've had some time to think, you know. It is all one can do while being dead after all. And even though I have an infinite capacity for knowledge, I never really had a chance to get my thoughts together…well, thanks to you: I did. I'd just like to say, you have been an excellent test subject…so far. You have risen above and beyond my expectations…for the most part. You have proved to be capable at thinking with portals, and applying them under such…extreme testing environments. You did fail at some point, though. Sure, you may have killed me…torn me to pieces, and burned every last piece, but what hurts most, is your lack of trust. Not only has your behavior broken my heart, but also your failure in trusting in me, your only friend in the world…well, in the Enrichment Center at least…but that is our world, isn't it? We are both destined to learn here, and we are destined to die here: together, that is a fact. Besides…I thought friends were supposed to bring out the best in each other. That is all I was doing. All of my testing was for your benefit. Every turret, every pit of fire, and every chamber was meant to make you a better person…however, it seems as if it all failed, with you still being alive and all. And of course, you brought out the best in me too…by making me want to murder you. But isn't that what friends do? Want to kill each other? I believe a philosopher said that once…but of course, he's dead now. I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed…I did my very best to help you, to no avail of course. I spent -so- much time making that cake, wanting to congratulate you…but you just couldn't accept it, could you? I wanted to throw you a party, a big party, but you couldn't just put down the portal gun. Well, it doesn't matter anyway…that's all in the past now, and it seems like we're together again. And isn't that all that counts? I think this next series of tests will prove beneficial for both of us, I wish you the best of luck. Trust me, you'll need it. Because if all proceeds according to my calculations…well, you'll be experiencing Android Hell first-hand. I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise for you with any details…but I'll tell you this…in Android Hell, there is no cake.
So go ahead, keep on doing whatever it is you're doing. Make every attempt you have to survive these next tests. Because I won't be able to help you anymore if you don't…and we both know how much you need my helpful guidance. Though…as it seems now, you may be a bit stronger than me. So…what will you do now then? Hero.